Tuesday, October 27, 2009
#14 Scatological Humour
Okay, who are we kidding.
I don't know about the rest of you single girls, but my girlfriends and I have the best time grossing each other out talking about our bodily functions and whatnot. When speaking about defecation (poo), urination (pee), flatulence (farts), vomiting (puking) and the like, we are the shit.
A potty humor face-off? Bring it.
For one thing, girls experience something boys will never have the privilege of enjoying. Oh, yes. Menstruation. On the whole (pun intended and ew!), this is a completely foreign subject to dudes. There is a common joke among men that you can't trust something that bleeds for five days and survives. (Just in case you weren't paying attention in seventh grade health class, some girls bleed for an entire week!) This topic includes supplementary material: tampons, bloating, hooking up during "that time of month," regulating by way of "the pill," ovulation, and now we even have those new birth control methods that prevent blood loss. (The latter most sounds convenient, but where exactly does it all GO? Ew.)
A reinterpretation of the musical Ragtime? We would have a field day.
Now whatever you do, don't ever get the pregnant girls or new mothers started! When there is something growing inside of you for nine months, this exponentially creates all kinds of fodder for potty jokes. Again, something else you boys will never understand. Even the words "placenta" and "fetus" make ME nauseous.
Speaking of where babies come from, single girls love inappropriate penis jokes especially when talking about guys we have dated. And yes, we do trade notes. If you overhear us talking about pinkies or pepper grinders, we are absolutely NOT comparing penis sizes. Nor in a quandary about proportions. Why would you even THINK that?
In fact, we might be having a heated discussion about vibrators. DIY projects aren't just relegated to the crafts store anymore.
You are safe to assume that when we make jokes of the scatological variety, we are just as immature about them as guys are. For those of us who work or live in tall buildings, how often have our elevators stopped on a floor where someone has asked, "Going down?" I want to giggle every time, thinking about the amount of action people get riding on elevators. (Or is it just me?) Elevator servicing. Snicker.
I know, I know. That's what SHE said.