Friday, August 20, 2010

#62 A Good "How We Met" Story

This week, I had the privilege of guest blogging for single dude, LA Idiot.  Read about my thoughts on internet dating and why single girls like a good "how we met" story here.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

#6O.N.E. Coconut Water

**Sponsored post**

Most people are appalled with my habit of adopting the "elf diet:" Hostess cupcakes for breakfast, peanut M&Ms for lunch and Pop-tarts for dinner.  When I had my over-priced membership to an "athletic club," I devoted more time thinking of reasons NOT to go to the gym than I actually spent AT the gym. 

Granted, every single girl has different prerogatives.  Mine happen to include expensive Italian shoes, and not necessarily my physical well-being.  My poor health sometimes doesn't even make it on my list of priorities let alone, and well, left alone at the bottom of one. 

Certainly, single girls like to count calories, but with a penchant for fake cooking, take-out meals, eating over the sink or having chips and guacamole for dinner, we tend to overlook the fact that our only serving of fruit for the week was a measly piece of lychee in our martini.

After suffering through the hangover of the century two months ago, I decided to be more concerned about my entire body and not just my liver, which explains my latest obsession with O.N.E. Coconut Water.

According to our friends at O.N.E., coconut water is an "all-natural hangover elixir."  Not only is drinking 11-ounces of coconut water comparable to drinking an entire LITER of water for hydration purposes, coconut water controls vomiting and replaces lost electrolytes from vomiting.  (This is super helpful when even the thought of tequila makes you queasy.)

Reasons why single girls like O.N.E. Coconut Water:

- O.N.E. Coconut Water is a low calorie, NON-FAT beverage.  (You know how single girls feel about calorie counting.  And fat.)

- O.N.E. Coconut Water relieves urinary problems, kills intestinal worms and breaks up kidney stones.  (Who needs a Master Cleanse when you have coconut water?)

- O.N.E. Coconut Water is a natural alternative to Viagra.  (Um, score!  Pun intended.)

- O.N.E. Coconut Water may help encourage smoother and clearer skin.  (Age spots, acne and wrinkles, good bye!)

- O.N.E. Coconut Water has more potassium than a banana.  (Perfect because I never really cared for bananas, and potassium is great for your heart.)

- O.N.E. Coconut Water contains A LOT of vitamins.  (Natural energy booster, anyone?)

- O.N.E. Coconut Water is an all-natural isotonic beverage and contains a bunch of electrolytes.  (Translation: it increases metabolism.  Actual translation: it helps with [relationship] weight loss.)

- O.N.E. Coconut Water comes in a cute, eco-friendly container that fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. (Great for those mornings when you're hungover and dragging ass.)

With so many benefits of drinking O.N.E. Coconut Water, who knew it would be this easy to adopt a healthier lifestyle - and in a cardboard box to boot?  This single girl is officially a convert, but she's not giving up her cupcakes or Pop-tarts anytime soon.

Friday, August 6, 2010

#60 Girls' Night In

So it's Friday night.  Our girlfriends are rallying.  If it's a "who, what, wear" kinda night, maybe it'll be sushi and sake followed by drinks at the new hotel bar.  Or tapas and sangria, and then drinks at the other new hotel bar.

However, it's also the end of an arduous work week spent in high-waisted pencil skirts or slacks and pointy-toed office pumps.  The last thing we want to do is apply glue and false lashes to our eyelids, put on special underwear, squeeze into a cocktail dress and tiptoe around town in 5" YSL platform sandals.

Certainly by now, most single girls understand both the merits and disadvantages of a girls' night out (or GNO). On the positive side, many of our epic drinking tales are a result of the shenanigans, mischief and mayhem derived from a girls' night out. And what single girl doesn't enjoy a good chortle retelling such stories?

If the intent and mission of a GNO is to "meet guys," some single girls neglect to realize the size of their party is indirectly proportional to the level of success in meeting said guys.  With these expectations, failure to meet a definite caliber of male on a night out could lead to some, if not total, disappointment.

For example, when a large group of girls heading out to a bar together collide with a comparable group of dudes, one would hope this to be an opportune turn of events - until it resembles a junior high school dance in the cafeteria with boys on one side of the room sneaking fidgety glances at girls on the other side of the room.

Ladies, it's a simple formula of proportion and mathematics: we all know it's easier for two guys to approach two girls, not two guys to eight girls (much to everyone's chagrin).  Unfortunately, a girls' night out can become a complete clam jam session when too many women are involved.

Albeit, there are those nights where we abandon "Operation: Man Hunt" because we're not in the right mood to potentially meet the man of our dreams at a bar.  Maybe we're feeling bloated, maybe our favorite dress is at the dry cleaner's, or maybe we're just totally over "girls' night out."  (Gasp!  How could this be?)

These are the nights we step out of the house in leggings and tastefully oversized t-shirts with our favorite accessory (a bottle of wine) and head over to a girlfriend's house.  If she's the Martha Stewart of the group, she will have a lasagna, casserole or something equally starchy baking in the oven.  Otherwise, it's most likely she fake cooked or ordered take-out from somewhere calorically fantastic.

It's no wonder why single girls like "girls' night in."  Benefits include opening that fifth bottle of wine (when there are only four of us) AND indulging on a third piece of lasagna with nobody (really) judging us.  (And the fact that we showed up in elastic waistbands is no coincidence.)

The ability to converse on certain topics in the privacy and safety of someone's home is quite liberating (especially after that fifth glass of wine).  We can talk about birth control (because abstinence is not an option), Brazilians (not the people), penises (yes, we compare notes), blow jobs (yes, we share techniques) and battery-operated "boyfriends." 

We can exchange bad date stories, deliberate about the guys we're seeing or gossip about former sorority sisters without worrying about a bartender, waiter, busboy or stranger overhearing our blunt, and often bawdy, exchange.  Unfortunately, when a specific person is being discussed in public, there is always a chance that someone within earshot is acquainted with the subject, specifically in a small town such as Los Angeles.

Another advantage of girls' night in?  We can have our cake, and eat two.  Carpe noctem!