Friday, October 23, 2009
#13 A Good Wing Girl
A good wing girl is essentially there to assist us in finding our target: a one-night stand or the man of our dreams. She is familiar with our flight patterns and won't let us leave the house without a killer outfit. She is well-qualified to handle any form of turbulence or areas of low visibility. She comprehends our flight signals and knows when to swoop in and abort a mission, when to take off, or when to send out a search and rescue team.
Single girls like being in good company. Our favorite wing girl is attractive and charming but not glaringly MORE attractive or MORE charming than we are. She can own the spotlight, but won't steal it from us. She knows when and how to fade into the background. She gives us that pep talk and a confidence boost when our last mission failed. She has eagle vision and can identify a target from across the room, then strategize various access points in her mind, all the while ordering us cocktails at the bar. She will attempt to extract incriminating information about a guy from his wingman (reconnaisance at its finest!) leaving the guy and I to chat about the World Series. Essentially, our wing girl is the most awesome person in the room, aside from ourselves of course.
All single girls know that we would rather fly solo than travel with a bad wing girl. I was talking to a dude at a club in Vegas a month ago, and my "wing girl" decided to clutch onto me like a backpack. I literally had to get her off my back. A good wing girl does not engage in embarassing conduct such as this - a blatant attempt at sabotaging a mission.
Good wing girls know that being engaging and selfless on one mission means that karma will reward her when our roles are reversed on the next mission. Good wing girls do not complain (out loud), regardless of how unattractive or creepy a guy's wingman is. Nor does her Jewish faith cause her to resent us for meeting all the Jewish guys while she "gets stuck" with the Mormon ones when we are neither Jewish nor Mormon. A true wing girl is always "takin' one for the team so her buddy can live the dream."
As the great chanteuse Jordin Sparks would say: Why does love always feel like a battlefield? When we're looking for a partner in the trenches, we want to be side by side with a good wing girl.