Tuesday, October 6, 2009

#1 Eating Over the Sink

What is it about eating over the sink that single girls like? Chances are, if you are a single girl eating over the sink (or kitchen counter), you just came home from a late night at work STARVING (because we're always hungry), looked in the refrigerator, and popped in last night's Chinese take-out (or frozen Lean Cuisine. Single girls like Lean Cuisines because they're under 300 calories. And single girls like to count calories). While you're waiting for that chow mein to nuke, you've taken off those darn heels you've been wearing over the past eight-plus hours and pulled on your favorite pair of sweat pants. Then you eat over the sink or kitchen counter because your utensils are conveniently stored in the drawer right next to the microwave.

Lazy? Not at all. Efficient? Absolutely. Eating over the sink eliminates the need to pull your "dinner" out from the microwave and place it down on a table-like surface. That is potentially precious seconds wasted from eating - we're starving, remember? Besides, who has time to set the dining table anyway (I don't even own a dining table), let alone light a candle? And isn't there something a little pathetic about setting the table for one? It's like drinking champagne alone.

Single girls have been trained and conditioned to eat over the sink. Remember when mom was stressed out about daddy's job and would eat over the sink when she cleaned up in the kitchen after dinner? (You knew you got your emotional eating habits from somewhere!) Or remember those times in the sorority house late at night when you had to eat over the sink in the kitchen downstairs so your sorority sisters couldn't see you shoveling food down your face because you didn't want them making snarky comments about your weight? (Plus you didn't want to be that girl who threw up in the bathroom every night. "Food poison," indeed.)

We like to eat over the sink when we really need just TWO bites of ice cream, when we're getting ready for work and can only manage to make a bowl of cereal for breakfast and eat it while running back and forth between the kitchen and bathroom with a mascara wand in one hand and a spoon in the other, or when we've just come home from the bar (starving, of course) after figuring out a polite way to turn down that guy our friends set us up with, all the while thinking about that frozen bean burrito from Trader Joe's sitting nestled in the freezer.

Eating over the sink means potential messes are a non-issue (single girls like running water and plumbing). You see, one thing single girls dislike is cleaning.

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