Monday, January 18, 2010

#30 Personal Fashion Shows

Single girls hate to admit this, but we are occasionally in possession of this elusive "free time" that people speak about.  For us, "free time" generally encompasses those few hours between Pilates and dinner on Saturdays, brunch and dinner on Sundays, and after yoga class on Tuesdays.

So how do single girls devote our time between social engagements, appointments, and dates? 

Obviously, a lot of this "free time" is spent diligently in the bathroom: taking baths, examining pores, checking for wrinkles, maybe some eyebrow maintenance.  Then there's the TiVo and perhaps a Gossip Girl marathon lusting after Chuck Bass while flipping through the glossy pages of Vogue or Elle.

Then there are those days where we find ourselves with an unexpected span of leisure and absolutely nothing stimulating enough to do/watch/read.  (Brunch plans were cancelled due to a friend's massive hangover, surely an epic drinking tale is in store.)

Now, as you know, one of the best things about being a single girl is not having to share a bedroom with a significant other and being left to our own devices.  (Yes, those devices.)  And one of the best things about having our own bedrooms is having our own closets.

Ah, yes, the CLOSET!  But, OF COURSE.

Just doing a mental inventory of all the shoes, jackets, jeans, blouses, scarves, belts, handbags, coats, slacks, camisoles and shorts in our closets can be a virtual time-suck.  Sure, we can waste an entire month afternoon re-organizing the closet or setting some clothes aside for Goodwill or Salvation Army.  BUT a much better use of time would be spent producing our very own PERSONAL FASHION SHOW!  (Squeal, yes?)

For single girls, "free time" is best occupied in front of a mirror.  A full-length mirror.  And a personal fashion show allows us to do just that.  Cue runway music...

Remember those tops we just bought running errands last weekend?  (Yes, "errands" include the occassional H&M visit.)  Well, we haven't had a chance to try them on again under normal lighting.  (Stupid store dressing rooms.)  Or with jeans or a different skirt.  Or with boots.  Or a belt.  Or those other boots.  Fashion show time!

What about this new pair of 5" pumps we bought two months ago and haven't worn yet because we thought they were inappropriate for work?  Well, how can we make them suitable for work without getting a warning memo from HR (again)?  Maybe with dark opaque tights and a dress?  Or ankle-length slacks?  Or a long pencil skirt?  Fashion show time!

And speaking of making pieces wearable, what do we do about this red envelope clutch that's only twice seen the light of day?  Something Mad Men inspired?  Are red shoes too matchy matchy?  Is red lipstick too matchy matchy matchy? Fashion show time!

Now that we're really going at it, how exactly do we sport this season's must-have item without looking too much of a fashion victim editorial?  Like these black leather over-the-knee boots.  Unfortunately, this is a trend that will probably wear us and not the other way around.  Especially since the only thing that suits these boots are $2500 Balmain mini dresses.  Before we admit defeat and fall into a state of dismay rife with buyer's remorse, a sudden brainstorm!  I bet they look REALLY hot with lingerie and a trenchcoat? Fashion show time!

Pretty soon, we're strutting around the apartment in fake eyelashes, stilettos and our favorite matching underwear set and shimmying to a mash-up of the Kings of Leon and the Four Tops, à la the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.  Our bedrooms have become extensions of our closets - hangers, clothing, handbags and shoes splayed willy nilly.  Before we know it, it's time to get dressed for a date.

Staring into the depths of a disheveled closet, we realize: Shit, I've got nothing to wear.


  1. i love this post! single girls always have something to be at, which means fresh outfits are a must! fashion show time is the only way to figure out what to wear (or that you need to go shopping, yet again).

  2. i LOVE fashion show time though for me its usually right before i have to leave the house. but wearing the right outfit is SO MUCH more important than being one time!

  3. God this is so true - love it!