Monday, November 2, 2009

#16 Dinner Invitations

So boys, you've read The Game and you've got "negging" down to a science, but you're not-so secretly tired of wearing that stupid bright orange shirt around town to "peacock" your way into a "set"?  What other impressive methods can you employ to eventually get into our panties? 

This may sound simple and completely obvious, but single girls like when guys invite us out to dinner. 

The key word here is "dinner."  A dinner invitation means 1) he is feeding us (single girls are always hungry), 2) he is paying (he did invite us, so we are his guest) and 3) it is a real date and not a pseudo-date. 

Pseudo dates are bullshit.  What is a pseudo date?  Examples:
  • Beers and "the big game" at a local sports bar
  • "Wine and movie night" at his house at 11pm
  • Barbeque hosted by his fraternity brothers
  • Cocktails after work but before he has dinner (without us)
  • Cocktails after he already had dinner (without us)
  • Anywhere his ex-girlfriend could potentially show up
  • Anything that involves meeting at his home immediately after a 2am phone call
Nothing frustrates a single girl more in the early stages of a courtship than half-assed attempts at impressing us.  We like real dates because a dude chauffeurs us around town, buys us dinner, and essentially treats us like the fairy princesses we aspired to be when we were five years old.  Inviting us out to dinner is a real date.

You argue that single girls are ALWAYS going on dinner dates and this mating ritual has become antiquated and cliched.  This may be true, but dinner dates allow us to properly assess you without any form of outside interference.  We want him to impress our pants (or skirts or shorts or dresses) off.  Literally. 

How are his manners?  Does he pull out our chair?  Does he stand when we leave the table?  Is he as funny in person as he is in emails and text messages?  Did he compliment our outfit?  Is he bright enough to keep up with our opinions on both American Idol and the election in Afghanistan?

Think of a dinner date like a job interview.  If he wants to nail the "job," then he needs to show us he's well qualified and a strong candidate.  And ask us good follow-up questions.

The other crucial aspect of inviting us out to dinner is how he asks us.  We like conspicuous requests.  You are one step closer to getting laid if he says these magic words: Would you like to have dinner with me?

Seriously, guys.  What is SO hard about saying that?  Why has Would you like to have dinner with me? become an endangered species in your dating vernacular?  Instead, you use verbally retarded and lame ambiguous expressions like: "We should hang out." 

WHAT IS THIS "HANGING OUT"? 

I have seen dinner invitations in different forms.  Although we prefer phone calls, it could be as easy as a three-word text message: You.  Me.  Dinner?  It could be cute: Will you be hungry on Thursday night at 8pm?  It could be a hybrid of conventional and modern: a handwritten note on your personal stationary Fed Ex'd to our doorstep.  (That one was a little extreme but done by a Frenchman.  They always up the ante when it comes to romance, don't they?)

We know it's hard putting yourself out there all the time and risk getting rejected.  We know you have fragile egos.  But if you want us coming anywhere near your balls, you've gotta show us that you actually have some cojones.

13 comments:

  1. Hopefully men will take this to heart. Those misled Game Guys are convinced this is not the way to go.. and they would never invite you out somewhere. That would mean they actually have to make an effort.

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  2. Who wants to bang after a meal, so dinner is a bad idea for dudes trying to get laid. Only time i would ask a girl to dinner is if i hit it and liked her- and was wanting to take things to the next level.

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  3. maybe because some of us have done that and it gets awkward immediately? asking to hang out is a way to feel out how a girl feels about us. Just fyi, most of the games guys play are to counter the games girls play.

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