First, it was March Madness. Then, it was the NBA Finals. And just before we single girls thought boys could stop focusing on basketball and start thinking about their own balls again, Americans got swept up with the World Cup. Bars are opening at 6am so "fans" can watch the games live from South Africa before they head into the office. Now it seems like the only way a girl can score a date in this town is by throwing herself at a guy in a sports bar between a commercial break and his 8am conference call.
Soccer not being much of an American sport (in fact, they don't even call it "soccer" anywhere else), this single girl actually could care less about a 90-minute ticking, yellow-card wielding, vuvuzuela blowing, penalty kicking game. But then I started paying attention to what all the vuvu-hoopla was about.
Soccer, futbol, whatever you call it, suddenly I understood this phenomenon of "World Cup fever." And who wouldn't? Especially when it looks something like this:
Holy chiseled, manscaped bodies, Batman!
Now really, WTF IS GOING ON??? What are they doing?! Are they just taking their clothes off??? On the FIELD? Is this LEGAL?? (It better be.)
Most importantly, how is soccer not a bigger deal in America?
Obviously swimmers, water polo players and beach volleyball players are already partially naked as "skin" is their uniform. But why are athletes who play baseball, basketball and American football not getting naked on the court or on the field? In fact, basketball shorts have actually LENGTHENED over the years. Have Americans made no progress since our Puritanical ancestors dropped anchor?
Sure, I could spout statistics of various players, their positions and the number of goals they have scored. But all this talk of scoring and positions only allows me to focus on just one hard member - I mean - number. No really, I meant NUMBER!
The number SIX! For six-pack, that is:
The awesome thing is, it doesn't matter whether they just scored the winning goal or lost a big match - these guys LOVE getting naked.
Yoann Gourcuff, Cristiano Ronaldo, Fabio Cannavaro, Marco Borriello, Diego Lugano? See also: dios mio, mon dieu, meu deus, mio dio.